I’m an American Top Physician!!!!

Congratulations on your prestigious recognition in the “Guide to America’s Top Physicians”. Being chosen for this listing is an honor, and your impressive achievements have you among the Nation’s most excellent…

So began the mailing I received today. It looked like junk mail but it had “medical license” somewhere on the envelope and I didn’t want to chuck it for fear of it being something really important.

How pleased I was to hear that without even finishing my fellowship I am already a top physician in the US. For my accomplishment I am being provided “an aesthetic display” of my ranking.

It goes on to read:

Using only the finest material, your name can be inscribed with the use of imported marble, thick jade glass and Italian mahogany frames. From your office to your home, our museum grade table-tops and elegant plaques, display this proud moment.

And on the insert, yes there’s a cheap looking blue flyer within the glossy card, I am told that Consumer’s Research Council of America, presumably the company that has bestowed this honour on me, is a private company that evaluates and compiles lists of America’s Top Professionals in various industries.

And yours truly has been chosen for inclusion in the new 2009 Consumer Guide. On what basis you might ask? Well, the selection process is based on a point value system that awards points for education, years in practice, and affiliations with professional associations. Furthermore, no fees, sponsorship, donations, or advertising are accepted from physicians, professional practices, medical treatment facilities or hospitals to insure an unbiased selection.

People, I am pretty special!!!

And to prove it to the rest of the world I can get a Proclamation plaque – a hand selected finest imported mahogany finished lacquered hardwood frame which comes with a distinguished foil stamped proclamation with the official seal of CRCA (don’t ask) for the great deal of $229. OR, I could get a sweet bargain for the Ambassador series – a laminated hardwood plaque featuring the actual cover of the “Guide to America’s Top Physicians” – for a mere $169!

One thing they got right – I am smart. It is so obvious that this is a scam. But I wonder how many doctors out there actually buy these plaques. I mean if I were out there in practice 10 -15 years and I got one of these things, I would be feeling rather special. The blue insert said “no purchase of any products is required” so I am to assume that even if I don’t buy “an aesthetic display” of my achievement, I am still going to be listed. Is this book even real? If so, I also wonder how many consumers come across guides like this and actually take it at face value.

It reminds me of when I was selected for the Who’s Who Among American High School Students. I was who was who in the 1996 edition along with the rest of the top 5% of American high school students. I actually took it seriously because let’s face it, I was very smart in high school, it offered scholarship money, and college applications were about listing all your many honours and achievements as if you alone are the greatest thing on earth since sliced bread.